Some vaguely interesting facts about the Toon
The official term for people from the bowels of Newcastle isn’t Geordie, it’s technically Novocastrian. The term Geordie is used to refer to everyone from Tyneside and not just those from the city itself.
The city, under the moniker of Newcastle-Gateshead, just missed out on the 2008 European Capital of Culture prize, losing out to Liverpool. Insert your own joke here.
Newcastle supported the King during the English Civil War, unlike rival north east city Sunderland who supported Oliver Cromwell, thus starting centuries of Tyne-Wear rivalry and leading to the nickname Geordies.
In 2007 it was voted the best city in the north by readers of the Daily Telegraph, ahead of the likes of Liverpool, Manchester and Leeds. In the 1990s some drunk bloke proclaimed Newcastle as the ultimate “Party city”, second only to Rio de Janeiro. Much to the amusement of native northeasterners, the national media actually believed it. Arf.
Newcastle’s famous Town Moor is bigger than both Hyde Park and Hampstead Heath combined. And it could have them in a fight.
Newcastle’s most irritating brethren
Ant and Dec – technically they’re two people but one without the other just doesn’t seem right. The darlings of light entertainment they’re pencilled in to present everything on ITV by 2013 and take over the entire world by 2020.
Jimmy Nail – Snaggletoothed Nail originally shot to fame as lager lout Oz in Auf Wiedersehen Pet. He then decided to pick up a guitar and launch an assault on the charts for which he has yet to be charged.
Robson Green – Allegedly underwent elocution lessons to rid him of his accent when he first made it big so he’d get taken seriously as an actor. Now he spends his time starring in naff ITV productions where he largely plays your stereotypical mad Geordie. Funny life, isn’t it?
Cheryl Tweedy – Isn’t it amazing how being part of a ridiculously successful reality television show can pretty much absolve you of beating the crap out of nightclub toilet attendants? Tweedy was found guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm in 2003, but cleared of the racially aggravated bit.
Donna Air – A former no mark television star that appeared in TV shows such as Byker Grove and the Big Breakfast. Last seen shamelessly hawking Samsung products with members of the Chelsea team, still, we suppose anything is preferable to mid-90’s spin off pop dross Byker Grooove. “Spuggeeeee!”
John McCririck – Okay, he isn’t a resident of Newcastle but he’s a fan of the team so we’re going to use that tenuous link to put the boot into the crack-a-jack, misogynistic loon. Mad as a box of badgers on crack, and thrice as hairy.
Lastly, a guide to understanding the natives, or How to tak proppa (the FSF Guide to Geordie slang):
Alreet – Ciao, my good fellow.
Broon – Newcastle Brown Ale, something which no one from the city actually drinks.
Canny – Not bad at all.
Howay man – Get your arse in gear.
Hyem – Home.
Mackem – Someone from Wearside. Also used in the pejorative as a term of insult.
Marra – A friend. Between four and ten pints, pretty much everyone is your Marra in Newcastle. After a gallon, it’s hit and miss.
Nappa – Head. Also called “heeeeeed”. See also “Knackaheeeeeed”.
Pagger – A fight. The second last thing you want to get into on a night out in Newcastle. Baja Beach Club is the last thing you want to get into. Really.
Ronny Gill – Local newspaper, the Evening Chronicle, so-called because of the street-sellers’ distinctive marketing call.
Scran – Food.
Whey Aye – An easy one. Yes.
Wor – Our.
